Dayum...where the hell have I been. Oh, I remember, sitting around feelin' sorry for myself and shit!!! I tired. I'm bored and I'm tired. My feelings are all mixed up. I don't know where I belong and it's a major struggle. I lost a dear friend last week. She died alone but peacefully. The funeral is tomorrow and my sorority chapter is going to be there strong to say our goodbyes.

I'm not good at funerals. But maybe my tears for her are needed for both her and other things in my life that I refuse to cry about, things that no one knows but me. Why can't I seem to get it together lately. Why can't I see what I need to do in terms of employment. I can't seem to sit still, but I can't get anything done either. I'm experiencing so much anxiety that it's crazy. I need an outlet to get rid of it cause it's causing headaches. The need to vent is definately there.

Fuck.....

Daquan

About every 6 months to a year or so I call Ms. Terri and get a spiritual reading. She's not a psychic. She just gives you insight into what is beneath the surface. She told me when I'd be working again. She told me that it would be around August. But my question to myself is. Can one change ones' destiny? What is written for you in the universe is basically what is meant to be. All of the shortcomings and hardships along the way are to teach valuable lessons. It's up to the individual to see beyond the ocular the lesson being taught. Some of us don't ever learn. They go from one mistake to another SAME mistake.

I also got a card reading. In this reading the card of Moira, which contains the keyword fate basically confirmed the spiritual reading as well as offered more insight. The seeds I've sown in the past are being harvested in the present. These seeds can be of good or ill will. Up until now I have felt that I was cast an unfair lot in life. I was always struggling for everything until I examined why. There was a lesson beneath all of my struggles. I would continue to struggle until I chose to see what I had to learn. I may not know what my destiny is at this time, but I do know what actions to take to get a little closer to it.

It's late...

Peace,
Daquan